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Shot Of The Day

The Beauty in the Blur

Looking back, the year feels like a blur. What did we do? Where did all that time go? The older we get, the faster the ride of life seems to go. And the rear view mirror? It’s a little blurry! I wonder sometimes, is the blur all bad? For years I threw away my blurry photographs. Or rather, I deleted them from my memory card. To save space? To hold tighter to perfection? I’m not sure why. At some point, I stopped because I started to see the beauty in the blur. I’m not sure if it was this experience, but I’m certain that this added to my shift in attitude about the blur. Years ago, my small group did an exercise called OUR LIFE AT A GLANCE. We put the year we were born at the top of a piece of paper and then we added every year after that until we reached the current one. Then we added all the years that would take us through 100. Next to each year that had already passed, we tried to list everything we could remember. It was challenging and a bit disturbing. No matter how much we tried, we could only remember two maybe three things from key years in our lives. Where we lived, when we graduated, got married, had kids, places we had been, people who came into our lives. Many of our firsts were on there. First car. First love. First job. And lots of our pain was there. Not little pains, but big ones. Losing our parents, having a miscarriage, losing our hair. No matter how much we tried, we really couldn’t muster up more than the outline of the events from our lives. We had whole years with nothing written. Our grade in school maybe. Where we lived. Our job. But that was about it for many of the years of our lives. After we were done, we talked about how hard it would be to live if we could remember all the struggle that brought us to where we are. How the struggles get merged into the blessings. How the things that were born from the hardship are what remain brighter than the darkness of the storm. How the dark shadows make the color even more vibrant. We became strangely grateful for the blur. And we looked at the years in front of us with a little different lens. We could see that there would be color in the lines of the painting of our lives. The shadows would be there, for sure, but in hindsight they would stand behind the light and color making it all the more beautiful by contrast. And the blur? It would be God’s way of softening our pain. Putting it in perspective. Taking stark hard lines and making them soft and painterly and beautiful. I pray that we can all look back on 2010 with the heart of an artist. Receiving forgiveness for coloring outside the lines. Looking at our imperfection as a reason to put our lives in the hand of the artist who really knows how to paint. And looking forward to the blank canvas of 2011 with a knowledge that there is enormous grace in the lines we walk and draw and paint if we will just receive it. Thanks for being a part of the blur of my life this year. Merry Christmas. Kat

Posted: 16 December 2010