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Shot Of The Day

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Walking down the jet way at the airport on my way home from the funeral of a friend, I had this moment where I felt peaceful. I wasn’t thinking about what I was going to do when I got home. Wasn’t actively grieving anymore. Wasn’t wondering if I had said all I had to say to honor the life of this man. While it wasn’t the most eloquent speech through tears and tissues, I left it all on the table and I was just walking down the jet way on my way home feeling totally spent and peaceful. And then, it hit me — I don’t often feel this way. It feels good. I like this. It didn’t last long because my mind wandered to the inevitable — to why? Why don’t I experience this feeling more? Why do I always feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop? Like, if everything is alright at the moment — my kid is healthy and my marriage is rocking and my friends aren’t annoyed with me and the appliances are all working at the same time and no doctors appointments are looming — why do I feel like I need to brace myself? It is as if I know — this can’t last. I better get ready. Or I better not get too comfortable cuz someone will eventually get sick or die or the dog will chew the furniture or whatever. I stopped dead in my tracks, looked down at my shoes [my favorite cowboy boots] and decided right there that this pattern of thinking is utterly absurd! Not because it isn’t true. It is. Life is messy. People get sick or mad or broken and things need fixing at the most inconvenient times. Shoes drop. But no amount of anticipation or worry or foreboding will change the fact that shoes drop. And by looking for the next shoe, we are robbing ourselves of the blessing of the present. I love shoes, but I’m not waiting for them any more. I’ll walk in them. I’ll buy them. Admire them. I’ll even give them as gifts. But wait on them? No more! I’m done with that. And maybe, just maybe, that’s what he meant when he said “don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I wonder?

Posted: 9 September 2008